My Only Hikari
by Kuroi29
Summary: Ryou loves Bakura. Bakura loves Ryou but they both are afraid to show their feelings. One night, Ryou's had enough of Bakura's abuse and emotionally turns away from him. Will Bakura tell Ryou his feelings? Please R&R!


**Disclaimer:** (hiccup!) I own Yu-Gi-Oh! Bakura's giving out kisses! Yugi suddenly turned into a gangster and Seto's hosting a birthday party! Yeah! (holds up brandy bottle)

**Summary: **Ryou loves Bakura. Bakura loves Ryou but they both are too stubborn to admit it to each other and the only way Bakura can show his feelings are when he's abusing Ryou. One night Ryou's had enough and decides to become rebellious, becoming emotionally distant from Bakura. Can Bakura admit his feelings to him?

**Author's Notes:** This 'lil fic is purely fictional and if I get any character information wrong, then I apologized to the experienced readers out there. As this is the first Yu-Gi-Oh fic that I've typed up, I do hope that you don't mind the errors I've made. The pair featured in this is Ryou/Bakura so anyone who isn't comfortable with this kind of pairing can leave at anytime as this bound to get mushy and a little yaoi. Please have fun reading this one-shot fic! Oh, and Bakura might seem a little out of character near the end.

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**My Only Hikari**

Ryou ran in the rain trying, but not succeeding to forget the memories of the night before. How could the person he love be so…so cold? So unfeeling and merciless? It was a question he had asked himself countless times, during the night when Bakura was finally silent and he was free to examine his feelings. Bakura had separated from Ryou's body and took every chance he got to torment him whenever his father was gone on an archaeological expedition.

Bakura had punished him again, when he had forgotten the time playing with Yugi, Jou and Honda in the arcade center. He was winning for a change and became so excited that he lost track of the time he had spent there. Bakura was waiting for him when he got back, excitement high in his veins. One direct look at Bakura's eyes was all it took for Bakura to unleash his fury and wrath upon Ryou. He was relentless, not stopping until the clock chimed seven.

Ryou never yelled, never screamed except for the first time when the shock of Bakura abusing him had overflowed what he could not process. To show weakness meant a rougher, more brutal beating from Bakura. Bakura roughly grabbed him after the beating and hoisted him up, then threw him towards the direction of the kitchen, demanding for supper.

Ryou's legs and body was a constantly shifting motion of cuts, scraps, bruises and more bruises. Most of the beatings occurred in the upper and lower body where Bakura had mercilessly kicked him when he laid on the floor, gasping for breath and praying for unconsciousness. Bakura quickly learned to hit where most of the signs of a beating would not show. Ryou couldn't wear a t-shirt or shorts anymore now without inquiry and worry from his friends.

He was sick of it. Sick of the beatings. Sick of cowering whenever Bakura came near him. Sick and tired of not being able to hang out with his friends day and night as he used to before the accursed Millennium Ring came into his possession. He was even sick of trying to make Bakura see his point of view in the world.

He stopped running and panted for air even as the storm lightened and he was left with a light sprinkle.

A new light entered Ryou's eyes. Something considered a challenge for one who loved complexity. He would change. He would not let his yami turn him into a coward. From here on, Bakura would cease to exist as a tormentor and Ryou's new self would look upon him as a rival.

His shoulders thrown back with newfound pride, he walked back to his house, where he knew Bakura would be waiting for him. One chance to show Bakura that he would not be bullied by him or anyone.

Bakura stood by a window as soon as he entered the house. A part of him cowered again but another, stronger part pushed aside the fear and stood still with pride as he

waited for his yami to turn and face him. He WOULD NOT whimper, or cower or do anything that he used to do when facing Bakura.

"Where were you slave?" he snarled, as Ryou had expected him to. "I hope you have a lot of endurance tonight because I'm going to beat you within an inch or your life."

Hell, he didn't know why he always said that to Ryou. Jeez, that probably wasn't what most people said to their beloved. Heck, he'd bet that he was the only one in the entire world that abused the one he loved the most. But he'd been inside the Millennium Ring so long that much of his supposed humanity had long since been shredded away by the five thousand years of hell he'd been through.

The only way he thought he could show his feelings towards Ryou was when Ryou refused to look at him. He got angry as usual because of his hair-trigger temper. Then he would beat Ryou up. Most of the time, he was too blind, stinkin' drunk to know what he did after he got smashed with Malik in the bar. Then, when he finally came to his senses, Ryou was mostly under his fist, getting pummeled. He would stop suddenly, but that didn't erase the intense gaze of hatred he felt under Ryou's eyes. It hurt but then, he knew he deserved it.

He was jolted out of his musing quite roughly when Ryou said, "You can go to hell, you bastard!"

He did it! He stood up to Bakura!! Adrenaline was coursing through his veins. For the first time since he met Bakura, he felt strong enough to fight anything. He stood there watching Bakura stare at him in disbelief. That was the most important moment of his life, he thought. Taking the first steps to freedom without Bakura breathing down his neck every time he came back from something.

"Wh…What did you say to me?" stuttered Bakura in partial shock.

Well that was something new. Imagine Bakura stuttering, thought Ryou in private amusement. "Want me to repeat that? You. Can. Go. To. Hell. Oh, did you also want me to add 'you bastard'?" Ryou smirked and turning on his heels, climbed the stairs to his room, feeling particularly light at heart. He was going to be free at last.

Bakura stood there, staring dumbly at Ryou's retreating back. Ra! It hurt like nothing he had ever felt in his life! Ryou, his sweet hikari saying those things to him was unimaginable! He shook his head violently, making spikes of ivory hair fly. This was a dream. He would wake up and everything would be back to normal. Ryou especially.

Bakura woke the next morning beside the bar, having drunk himself into a stupor the night before on the most expensive brandy and scotch he could find. He raised his head slightly, then groaned at the enormous headache that seemed to plague him. Ryou stood in the door looking at him stoically.

"There's aspirin in the medicine cabinet and coffee in the pot if you want some. I'm off to school."

Ryou turned and walked away from Bakura. It felt wonderful to finally be in control of one's destiny.

Ryou met up with Yugi, Jou, and Honda. It surprised them because he hadn't done that since Bakura came and took control of his life. He was welcomed back into the gang again and they caught up with the latest news.

Everyone commented on how he looked. He seemed happily.

"Not that you didn't look happy before Ryou," commented Yugi. "But you just didn't seem like yourself for the past few week."

Ryou laughed for the first time in a long time and began afresh with his friends.

In the shadows, Bakura watched with sad eyes. So it wasn't just a dream. Ryou had turned away from him.

Bakura watched Ryou in the passing days. The gentle light that he thought was gone from Ryou's eyes came back with a fiercer, but somehow distant gleam. His smile, the smile that he hadn't seen for a long time came forth with a brighter, more intense light.

Was it all his fault? Was he the one who drove all those precious things away from Ryou? Is that why Ryou stood up to him?

Bakura groaned and slumped to the lush carpet of his bedroom. It had to be it. No wonder Ryou hated him so much. His mind wandered to the day when Ryou set him free from the Millennium Ring.

When he opened his eyes for the first time in five thousand years, an interesting sight met his eyes. A young boy, about twelve met his eyes with a curious gaze and a gentle curve of his lips. The interesting thing was that, even though he had been locked up for five thousand years, he still knew his own features and the boy's features were exactly like his. But unlike his features, the boy had a softer, more gentle air around him.

"Umm… hi?" the boy said uncertainly as Bakura looked at his surroundings.

Bakura straightened from his crouching position. "Hn."

The boy looked increasingly nervous. "Mind if I ask you a question?"

Bakura gave a nod.

"Why do you look like me?" The boy studied him curiously.

Bakura stared at him. Did he know nothing of the powers of the Millennium items?" "I was born five thousand years ago mortal. Therefore, I should have asked that question. Why do you have my features?"  
The boy looked confused. "I don't know. But who cares? I have a new friend."

Bakura had snorted.

Over time, he began to notice small things about his replicate. The boy told him that his name was Bakura. Bakura stayed hidden in his soul room most of the time and left the boy alone. But he began to notice how Ryou lit up whenever Yugi, Jounouchi, or Honda came near him. Ryou was innocent, his tastes simple and that was what attracted Bakura to him at first.

Ryou was like a glass of cool water sent to ease a man's thirst. His aura was pure and innocent like the aibou of the damned former Pharaoh. No wonder they had become friends at first sight.

Bit by bit, he began to feel compassion, then friendship, then attraction and finally love for Ryou. But he was afraid to show those emotions. Mostly because he didn't know if Ryou rejecting him would make life more miserable and because he had lived without emotions so long that he honestly did not know how to.

But now Ryou hated him. Ryou hated him because of who he was. And he'd never get to tell him what he felt for him. Now, Ryou simply looked through him, or if he did look or speak to him, he spoke in frosty or haughty terms. He could have gotten out more response from him when he was beating him. He'd shown more emotions to Ryou in the past weeks then he had in his Egyptian life.

While Bakura examined his thoughts, Ryou had been invited to a party Yugi hosted. The party went well past two and Ryou stayed, loving every minute of it. Someone had spiked the punch and Ryou didn't know it until he was well in his cups, slurring and stumbling around. Honda had offered to take him home and he took up the offer, not wanting to stumble his way through the streets until he got home.

Bakura's head went up as he sensed his hikari come home. He went downstairs to be greeted by the sight of Ryou barely hanging onto the stairs.

"Are you all right?" he asked Ryou as he rushed down the stairs.

Ryou looked up at him and gave a silly grin. "Nothinsh matter wif me."

Bakura got close enough to Ryou to see his dazed eyes and the slight scent of alcohol that tinged his breath. "You're drunk!"

Ryou smiled again. "Am not!" he murmured as he leaned forth heavily into Bakura's embrace.

(AN: YAOI a little further after this! Don't say I didn't give you warning!)

Bakura gradually became aware of their close proximity and shifted uncomfortably, not wanting Ryou to notice what that closeness was doing to his body.

But Ryou being directly beneath him took notice instantly. He looked down at the bulge in Bakura's pants then back up at Bakura's face, all the while grinning like a Cheshire Cat. "Got a 'lil problem there?"

Bakura blushed for what seemed like the first time in his life. He shifted again. "No. Here, I'll take you to your bed."

Bad mistake.

Ryou wrapped his arms around Bakura's neck. "How 'bout I go to bed AND take care of that 'lil problem there, but by the looks of it, that's a big problem."

For a man who was supposed to be drunk and innocent, he was surprisingly coherent. Bakura tried to ignore the growing bulge in his pants made by Ryou's words and concentrated on getting Ryou to his bedroom.

Another mistake.

Ryou tackled Bakura back down on his bed when Bakura made a move to leave him. Bakura stumbled onto Ryou's clean linens and landed right beside Ryou who solve that problem by flipping himself over Bakura.

"Ryou, just what do you think you're doing?" asked Bakura nervously, his body leaping to life at the contact he had with Ryou's lean body.

"You're very purty, ya know that 'kura?"

Bakura stopped shifting for a moment, shocked but somehow pleased at the thought that Ryou thought him 'purty'.

Ryou took advantage of his shocked silence to shimmy down to the front of Bakura's tight leather pants.

Bakura gasped and tried to wriggle away from Ryou's searching hands. "Ryou stop!"

Ryou ignored him and began pulling loose the leather lacing that held the garment together. He held Bakura's shimmying hips still and began to slowly peel the tight leather off Bakura's body. Ryou was delighted to discover that nothing stood between those tight leather pants and his skin.

Bakura groaned and against his will to not participate in this madness, his hips bucked for more. Ra, Ryou was doing a damn strip tease that was slowly driving him mad and he didn't care!

Ryou's breath caught as he revealed Bakura's heavy erection. "Well, well. Look at what we have here."

Bakura moaned at the feel of Ryou's hands lightly cupping him and arched into those teasing hands for more. Ra, those greedy hands could drive him mad!

Ryou's hands cupped, squeezed caressed and stroked his erection like a favored pet. Bakura could do nothing in this onslaught of feelings except moan and buck in pleasure.

Suddenly, Ryou bent and took his cock deep in his mouth. Bakura gasped at the powerful feelings he was experiencing in Ryou's drunk but innocent hands. Ryou's tongue teased and stroked.

Bakura writhed on the linen sheets, almost driven to sexual madness at the attention he was receiving from Ryou. His hips bucked towards Ryou for more as Ryou suddenly sucked strongly.

"Ryou!"

With a shout, Bakura exploded and nearly took Ryou with him. He gasped for air at that remarkably tongue and mouth of Ryou's. Ryou continued his ministrations for a while more then looked up at Bakura grinning like crazy. "Problem solved."

Ra, HE was supposed to be the experienced one. How could he have let Ryou make him lose his control so fast? He grinned wickedly. Now it was his turn.

With a swiftness that Ryou found incredible, Ryou suddenly found himself beneath Bakura, his hands pinned to the pillow above his head by one of Bakura's hands.

"My turn koi," Bakura said wickedly as he leaned down to taste Ryou's skin.

His touch was purely wicked to Ryou and he moaned under all of his caresses. Bakura slowly peeled his shirt and pants off Ryou's lean body.

Sexual awareness and excitement tinged the air as Bakura stripped off his remaining clothing and joined Ryou's near frenzied body

(AN: I won't get into TOO much details with this stuff.)

Impatiently, Bakura grabbed a small bottle of lotion on the bedside table and spread a generous amount over his cock and Ryou's opening.

He slowly pressed into Ryou's tight, wet heat and groaned at how good it felt to be finally connected with his love. He didn't stop until he was fully in and it was only because of Ryou's faint hiss of pain. He let Ryou get used to the feeling of his cock being in him, then began moving in slow piston-like strokes that sped up into a frenzied race to fulfillment.

(AN: Yaoi scene over for those who don't like yaoi)

Bakura gave a shout as he climaxed, but clearly heard Ryou say, "I love you Bakura," before he too toppled to nirvana.

Bakura collapsed on Ryou, his mind whirling at the words he heard come from Ryou. _I love you._ Did Ryou really love him after all he did to him?

"Ryou?" he whispered softly, unwilling to break the sated mood they had there.

Nothing was said beneath him. Bakura peered down to find Ryou fast asleep.

Bakura gave a gentle smile. They would have that talk later in the morning. For now, Bakura was content to wrap his arms around Ryou and fall to sleep with his beloved in his arms.

Ryou woke up slowly to a raging headache. He groaned softly and threw his arm over his eyes. Damn, he must have had more to drink then before. He never had a headache this big before. He dreamed that he was finally able to confess his feelings to Bakura and then had made love to him.

He shook his head sadly. But that dream was not reality and he had to face the truth. He would never get Bakura to love him. His arm fell to touch something beside him. Something warm and breathing.

Ryou froze.

He slowly turned his head to the side to find Bakura, of all the people to be fast asleep next to him. One of his arms was wrapped around his waist. He tried to quietly slip out of his arms but stopped when Bakura's arm tightened around him. Bakura pulled Ryou in closer and nuzzled his hair, softly sighing in contentment.

Ryou took a closer look at Bakura's features. He looked… peaceful. There was no other word for the expression on his face. His customarily scowl had disappeared, leaving behind a small, very small smile of contentment on his lips. Ivory hair was draped delicately across his face like pale silk.

Ryou smiled and felt a tinge of the feelings he had for Bakura emerge from a locked door in his heart. He ruthlessly tried to shut out the feeling but seeing Bakura like that in front of him… it made his heart melt.

Ryou brushed lightly at the hair across Bakura's face, not wanting the object of his affection waking out but Bakura was either a very light sleeper or was just waking up himself of his own accord.

Chocolate brown eyes same as his but somehow harsher, rose to greet Ryou. Ryou blushed softly. He was now caught in an awkward situation. Should he either continue as nothing happened or should he put up the emotionless mask he had worn for the past few weeks.

The decision was taken out of his hands when Bakura leaned up and gave him a soft, passion-filled kiss. It was like a 'how-do-you-do?' morning type of kiss if there was such a thing.

Ryou blushed again and turned his face away from Bakura's intense, emotion-filled eyes.

Bakura smiled slightly as Ryou turned away from him even after that night. Ryou was still innocent though not in the sense of the world. His heart was still pure.

"Ohayo, Ryou-kun," drawled out Bakura sensuously.

Ryou struggled to put up the emotionless mask. "Ohayo, Bakura-kun."

Bakura frowned slightly. Ryou's monotone voice was back again, which meant that he was shutting him out of his thoughts. Again. He propped himself up then placed a hand on Ryou's averted face and turned him so he faced his eyes.

"Look at me."

Ryou could never resist that tempting voice and reluctantly, his eyes trailed up to Bakura's face.

Before Bakura could speak, Ryou cut in. "Look… last night, whatever we did was a mistake. So, let's just chalk it up as one and get on with our lives."

Bakura stared at him. How could he say that? That 'mistake' as he put it was the only happy moment of his very long Egyptian life. How could he?

"It could never have been a mistake. How could you think that Ryou?" he whispered out harshly, all the while searching Ryou's face for some sign of affection. The affection Ryou had shown him last night. Anything would do as long as it wasn't hatred. He couldn't bear it if it was hatred. Affection meant that he still would have a chance to win Ryou's heart over.

There was nothing. None save for the flicker in his eyes. Something akin to or was hurt and confusion. Ryou let his eyes rover to anywhere but Bakura's form.

Bakura couldn't bear it if he were to lose him now. He couldn't lose him now. Not when he discovered so many things about him. Not when he finally realized he loved him.

"Tell me you don't love me," he whispered. He could have sworn he saw Ryou flinch. "Tell me you don't miss me. Tell me that your heart never aches when you see me with someone else. Tell me that… and I'll let you go." Regardless of his love, he bitterly added silently. He prayed that it would not be so. He prayed that Ryou would still loved him - no, COULD still love him more then he loved his newfound freedom. Gods, he didn't want to lose him this way.

Ryou bit the insides of his lip. How could he say it when he himself was beginning to remember the night before when he had gotten himself trashed? When he remembered the way Bakura had tenderly treated him. He wanted his freedom yes, but not at the cost of never seeing Bakura again. So what should he choose?

Bakura sat nervously awaiting Ryou's answer. What if he did hate him? What if he chose his freedom and not him? Those questions plagued his mind. If he did do that, his life would have no purpose. The lover being annihilated by the beloved, he thought grimly. A quote from a book he once read. It would be deserving of him to have that fate. To never be loved by his only beloved.

He searched his mind for a way, anyway to keep Ryou with him. "Did you mean it, Ryou when you said you loved me last night?" he asked quietly.

Ryou quivered.

"Tell me please."

It was the please that did him in. Bakura never said please and to hear him say that was so out of character. Ryou flung himself out of Bakura's arms and started weeping silently as soon as his back was to Bakura. Bakura wrapped his arms around himself, already feeling the loneliness without Ryou and stood up to face him. "Love me please," he whispered brokenly. "Be with me love. Don't leave me." Love was in his voice now as was fear for the fact that Ryou might possibly leave him.

Ryou turned, silent tears streaming down from his chocolate brown eyes. "I c-can't. I don't want to love you again and then be broken by that tie again."

Bakura's eyes pleaded with him. "Having your love will be the most important and cherished thing in my live. Please, stay with me. Love me as you once did." There was no reaction from Ryou and that broke his heart.

He walked towards the door. "I'll leave. I'll leave you in peace, my only hikari. If it makes you happy, I'll leave."

His hand was on the doorknob when Ryou flung himself at Bakura and held him tightly. Bakura turned around in his arms and held Ryou close. "Tell me you love me."

"Aishiteru, my yami," Ryou whispered as he held his love in his arms.

"Aishiteru, my hikari," whispered Bakura as he nuzzled Ryou's ivory hair. He breathed out a long sigh of relief and contentment and held his love in his arms as they stayed like that for quite awhile reaffirming their physical and spiritual bonds.

Yugi and the gang were quite surprised when Bakura and Ryou showed up together, hand in hand. They quickly accepted the fact that they would have another couple along with Yami and Yugi, Honda and Shizuka, and Jounouchi with Seto. Surprising, but true.

Bakura saw Seto hand over a couple of bills to Jounouchi discreetly. When he asked Jounouchi, he smugly said that he won the bet in saying that they would get together within the year. Bakura laughed at this, another surprise to the gang for they had never heard Bakura laugh in genuine amusement before. Ryou looked at Bakura lovingly and Bakura sealed their love with a kiss. A bonding kiss to last eternity.

_'Expeltio'_

**Author's Notes (More):** I hope you readers like this fic. Please read and review as comments are always appreciated! By the way, to those readers who think they have read this story under a different author don't worry. I don't plagiarize. I formerly was Guardian Of Shadows24 but my account got deleted, so yeah. Just posting this under a different author's name. Ja ne!


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